Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
