Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
