i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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