More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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