farters have to be the big spoon...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I'm really busy with my period
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