it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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