I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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