Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
