Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
