It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Randomize
