please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Randomize
