I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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