I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
