I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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