I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
