It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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