it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
