i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
