I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
there is glitter all over my balls
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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