In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
