Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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