She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
