Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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