never play flip cup with pint glasses
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
there is glitter all over my balls
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
