DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
