Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize