You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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