How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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