haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
