hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
