Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
