I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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