You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
