I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
