Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
