the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
