I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
