1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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