Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize