So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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