you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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