Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
