Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
she smelled like a LAN party
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Randomize
