i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize