I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
