I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
