Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
