You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just forgot I was standing up.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
