So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Randomize
