I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
