i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
