Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
