Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
