pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
