I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he shaved USA in his pubs
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize