we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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