No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
