nut hugger
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
