So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
