I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
